Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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