why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
