Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
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just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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