Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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