My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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