Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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