Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
