Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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