bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
