you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
