i think my mom watched the whole time
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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