good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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