I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just want nice things and good sex
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
