I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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