there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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