There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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