Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Randomize
