After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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