I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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