i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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