Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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