So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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