PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
