oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
