If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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