there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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