i jhust puked up my retainher.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
