so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
