you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Vodka?
Forever.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
