Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I want to be your penis for a week.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
