I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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