if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
