Me. At least after what I've been through.
I could make wine with my vomit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize