we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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