Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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