So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
