Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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