I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
