So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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