I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
