found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
