i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
