New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
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Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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