just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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