She's JV to your varsity
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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