I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
