My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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