Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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