You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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