it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize