yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize