their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
