yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
