____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
