it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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