HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dick very happy bro
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
